What is Home?

  My first real day of rest in weeks. I sat curled in my bed this morning reading a book called Adorned and I was struck by a certain paragraph: 

"Home, as God designed it, is not a cultural convention or a matter of pragmatic convenience. It is intended to be a parable of the redemptive storyline in which He is intent on restoring Paradise, establishing His dwelling among men, and making beloved sons and daughters out of prodigals. Christian homes are meant to tell that story."

  I think for the first time in my life, I've struggled understanding and capturing what home is. These past few years, I've constantly been on the move and just as I've settled into one place, it's time to pack up and do it all over again. To be honest, in this blog post I don't really have anything too profound to say that this paragraph hasn't already touched on. But I do want to share some rambling thoughts on the topic. 

  I long for home-- cultivating a space of redemption and depth. A space that's both beautiful and practical. A place welcoming enough to intertwine lives and cultivate relationship and share laughs and tears. In this current season, it's been weird being back with my family in the house I've grown up in. I wish I could describe it better but honestly the word that fits it best is weird. It can be tempting to wonder if cultivating "home" is even possible in your parents house as a young single gal (sharing a room with sisters, I might add!). But God calls each one of us to cultivate His home here on earth, right? And I'd say that call is pretty concrete no matter the season of life we're in, no matter where we are living. 

  Days of rest, like today, are sometimes the very days I dread. In my old dorm room or school apartment I'd use that time to decorate, organize, deep clean (weirdly one of my favorite things to do), cook and bake, invite friends over, create art, spend long hours with Jesus. Here, back at my parents house, it can be so easy to throw my hands up in the air, exclaim "what's the point?!", and do something mind-numbing that leaves me feeling drained and grumpy (like scrolling mindlessly through social media, binging Netflix, sulking, etc.). I honestly think it's allowed space for even more insecurities than usual to plague my mind. 

  Yet slowly, God has been working on my heart and revealing what home truly is. I've slowly regained my love for cultivating home. This weekend I cleaned my bedroom, and started pulling out old pictures and favorite paintings out and began some redecorating. It's been life-giving. I've been back to writing notes of encouragement to friends and cultivating a new life here in this season. I've become more confident in inviting friends over and if not our house, I've at least been able to show them the many little joys of living in the suburbs (places and spots both newly found and recently rediscovered). I've let God use me to serve and enjoy my family. He's been opening my heart more and more to loving others in ways that bring Him the most glory. 

  And as God has showed me more about what home is and how to live it out, I've slowly been noticing all the ways He speaks into my insecurities with His TRUTH (Look at Eph. 1!! Let me tell you, you NEED to know those spiritual blessings we have in Jesus!!). I love how His truth trickles into every part of our daily lives! For as long as I can remember, I've struggled with body image-- from waist size to the texture of my hair. Slowly, I've been seeing His healing work in this! Even little things like letting my hair air-dry has gotten easier. I've been telling myself it's okay to eat dessert. It's still a journey but I truly believe that cultivating home, learning this new rhythm of life, and growing deeper in my love for Jesus and humanity is a season of healing. It's life-giving. It's been a sweet, sweet season (though I can't lie, still challenging because transition is weird!). I'm excited to learn more about what home is.